So I've been kinda down lately. Well more than kinda down, more like really really down. Like so much so I couldn't even pretend I was okay. But anyway. I dont know about you guys but for some reason turning to a friend, if even through text, to kinda let out your burden helps. Ha, even when they don't respond for awhile. Ya know, and be a girl a little bit and cry (even for just a few minutes).
There was just something about not pretending i was okay and then actually acting like i was human. I have this problem of just brushing things off. Well not really, but on the outside i try and do that. And like most, it builds and builds and you just need a break through.
I've really been trying to figure out what was wrong, who was to blame, what brought this mood i had been in. You know just trying to figure out how to fix it.So today when I was coming home from running errands to the post office and such, windows down, rockin to City Knights (drew's band) there was this song of their that kinda got me thinking.
The words go kinda like this: "This is your time, this is your life. So let it shine. This is your chance, so make the most of it. You only get one."
It true though, you choose how you feel. No one can make you feel one way or another. it's our choice how to react to experiences in life. so I was done mope'n around. so i came home and cleaned! well started too (still need to clean the bathroom) but the rest of the house looks pretty good. but i just wanna leave with a quote from Roy Lessin
Just think, you're here not by chance, but by god's choosing. his hand formed you and made you the persom you are. he compares you to no one else- you are one of a kind. you lack nothing that his grace can't give you. he has allowed you to be here at this time in history to fulfill his special purpose for this generation.
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I'm sorry you've felt bummed out lately. I know how that goes. I just attribute it to growing up and lots of change. I know it kind of sounds like I'm simplifing the problem, but when it comes down to it, change stretches us big time, and sometimes it seems like it's too much.
ReplyDeletehey girly, I know exactly how you feel. I've been there too. After Conrad left I felt so alone and empty. It was like I had to make friends all over again. Plus having my best friend gone was so hard, I didn't have anyone to hug or talk to. I will always be here for you Nikki!!
ReplyDeleteSo I guess I'm a total stalker, because I went to a friend's blog for the first time in quite a while, then to a friend of her's, then to a friend of her's, then to yours! I was just going to blog-stalk a bit then tell you about my blog-stalking at church tomorrow (which I'll probably still do), but I read your "down" post and had to respond. Thank you so much for posting about your little internal struggle. It's easy for me to think I'm the only one to ever deal with being so really really down that you can't pretend to be otherwise! In my wise old experience (I've been married what, like 5 minutes longer than you?) the hormonal changes that we young married chicks are dealing with could possibly be way crappier than we think... I could go on and on about my theories about this stuff, but thanks for your insight on cleaning. It's silly, but that totally helps me too!
ReplyDeleteOkay, on another note... Since you're in nursery and already have to get along with Jack, we all seriously need to hang out sometime. I promise you won't have to do the babysitting!