I'm workin through it

so lately ive been feelin kind of weird.. not like sick or anything like that. but my emotions have been a little sensitive I guess you can say. I think satan is really just tryin to get at me! that dirty.

I've kind of been comparing my self to others lately. bad idea I know. but just stuff like.. "oh they've only been married this long and are buying a house." or "they're pregnant" stuff like that. you know, people really starting their lives together. and then I feel like I'm missing out. ha! I laugh because I shouldnt feel that way and I'm not missing out. just my situation is different. thats all.

its hard to get settled when we'll be leaving for dental school next year. so it'd be silly to buy a house. and as far as the baby... i still kinda want one. I have for awhile. but I understand drew's concerns, so we're tryin to save a little more so we dont have to choose baby or dental school. we want both. so we're tryin to better prepare. but I still hope its when I was originally planning and getting pregnant this summer.

then ive been starting to feel a little depressed about silly things too. only having one sided friendships (most effort from me), not really having a job, missing out on the previously stated, and feeling like im not even noticed in my ward. silly things right? well I dont let myself get depressed. if I need a little "i feel sorry for myself" moment, I take it and move on. you're only depressed as long as you want to be depressed. or atleast thats how I see it... so i dont let myself be that way for very long.

tryin to stay positive...

some POSITIVE things going on right now:
-drew is starting his last spring semester of under-grad
-we're both healthy
-drew has a rockin job that is keepin us a float without problems
-we have the cutest little dog that keeps me company
-we get spoiled by the binghams (my relatives) every other sunday with dinner
-our pantry is full
-we're stocked with good movies
-we have family in arizona
-monthly packages from my mom
-i can make some bomb oatmeal choc. chip cookies
-theres a temple down the road from our apt
-clint (drew's brother) comes home in six months
-drew has amazing grades which will greatly help getting into dental school
-drew and i love eachother

and other things too. my mind is blanking. but see, there is stuff goin for us. I just gotta keep those negative thoughts away. and you just wait... in like ten years, we'll finally be caught up with everyone else on this whole thing people call life. haha.