in other news, I've just become a belly. well, a belly that is carrying Parker of course. That's all I am right now, Parker's carrier. I don't say that to sound mean or anything negative towards the people who feel that way, but hello... I'm up here! Its great people are excited for parker to join our lives, but don't push me out in the process. It makes me feel.... I don't know which word I want to use. But you get my drift right? So please don't call me and the first thing you say is... 'how's parker' sorry again if that's rude.
another wonderfully selfish thought of mine... there will be some events taking place after I have my little guy. Ones that I at occasion feel like will, well, take away from me. horrible I know guys. I know. and honestly, how much time and focus do I really need for popping out a baby. I'm sure it will just be like the above paragraph to the max anyway! But sometimes I just feel like I don't get the attention I want or, there's that word again, deserve. But it's hard to stand out when Drew's your husband I guess. I won't say anymore about that. Because I really like the person who I feel gets the attention and preferential treatment. So... I'm basically a horrible person.
large, oh so large, and horrible.
wo is me.
welcome to my pregnancy downs.
Aww Nikki! I'm sorry. I understand what you're feeling. And I'm sorry to say it doesn't stop when the baby is born. My mom and I used to chat all the time and now whenever we do, it's all about Addie. They want us to come visit so they can see the baby. I thought it would really bother me but I've found that it just makes me a proud mommy! I love that everyone oohs and aahs over my child. And in a weird way, I feel like I get so much attention because of it!! Anyway I don't know if that will help at all but I love you! Hope things get better!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry!
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard to maintain a sense of self once you have a kid. You are not wrong to feel that way because you do get pushed aside. It's just a part of the process, but that doesn't mean that you aren't still as special to everyone else. I still have a really hard time with it especially now that my kids talk back to me. It is a horrible thing to be told no all the time like your opinion or request doesn't matter.
ReplyDeleteAnyway just wanted you to know that you are not super selfish. It's called being human. We all have needs and part of your's are not being met. It might not be realistic to expect them to be, but you have to remember that just because you may not receive attention doesn't mean you don't deserve it, and just because you may not have super awesome things right now doesn't mean you don't deserve it. What you have or receive bears no relevance on how much you deserve something.
Part of your time will come when you are older and your kids are older. There are so many times when I call my mom crying and just apologize for all the horrible things I did as a child/teenager etc. Of course she is sad that I am sad, but I know secretly she finally feels validated.
I hope some of that made sense lol
This is the most disgustingly selfish thing I have ever read. Get a grip and grow up. You don't deserve anything more than anyone else and you are having a freaking child for crying out loud. Of course people are going to want to know about how the baby's doing and not just you. You sound like such a spoiled brat who thinks everything is all about you you you. And we all know what the last paragraph is referring to...the wedding. Maybe if you weren't so self-centered you would actually be happy for them but people like you just don't think normally because it's all about you and what makes you happy. I hope one day you grow out of this and act like an adult.
ReplyDelete