7 months & 3rd trimester

27 weeks + 4 days

So the 3rd trimester has begun. Still SOO weird for me since I still don't really feel pregnant. Yes, I can feel him move. Yes, I see my belly getting bigger. But don't really feel pregnant. Weird I know, trust me.

I'm starting to get a little anxious about the 'hospital event'. I try not to think about it. One concern is that I won't be able to handle the pain leading up to it. Just the other day I had some discomfort and thought to myself, 'I feel miserable' which wasn't true of course. I just haven't had any pain or anything big for the last 27 weeks so it definitely a different experience. I'm just nervous. I'm having a kid!

Ha, I went to motherhood earlier this week to finally get some preggo shirts and while trying them on I finally realized how HUGE my belly is now. I swear like the day before it hasnt anywhere close to that big. It came out of no where! So I was standing in the dressing room, just staring at my belly. SOO WEIRD! The worker probably thought I was crazy. (I was the only person in the store so we were chatting through all this) Meh, oh well. It's only larger from here right? Its still funny to hear Drew say randomly, 'you're really starting to look pregnant'... um...yep. haha

man I'm large. and hungry. That is one thing I've noticed lately, I sure can eat now! holy smokes! I never was a huge eater, like it wasnt uncommon for me to not finish a meal if we went out to eat. ha, we went to Outback last week I think, yeah, I put it away. I had tons of bread while waiting for the food. Than ate ALL of a outback burger and all the fries with a little bit more bread after that. I couldn't even believe it! you'd think I'd feel stuffed, yeah no. haha. It seems like nothing completely fills me anymore. I guess Parker really needs to put on some weight or something.

But I deserve it more..

So have you ever had a case like that, you feel like you 'deserve' something more than someone else. I don't know what's wrong with me but I've been feeling like that a little bit lately, and with the dumbest stuff ever. ha! dirty satan! I went from one day thinking of our super bright future and all that Drew is going to accomplish to later that day thinking I needed 'upgraded' things because someone else had it... because I thought I deserved it more that they did. Who thinks like that?! ungrateful selfish people, that's who. GUILTY!

in other news, I've just become a belly. well, a belly that is carrying Parker of course. That's all I am right now, Parker's carrier. I don't say that to sound mean or anything negative towards the people who feel that way, but hello... I'm up here! Its great people are excited for parker to join our lives, but don't push me out in the process. It makes me feel.... I don't know which word I want to use. But you get my drift right? So please don't call me and the first thing you say is... 'how's parker' sorry again if that's rude.

another wonderfully selfish thought of mine... there will be some events taking place after I have my little guy. Ones that I at occasion feel like will, well, take away from me. horrible I know guys. I know. and honestly, how much time and focus do I really need for popping out a baby. I'm sure it will just be like the above paragraph to the max anyway! But sometimes I just feel like I don't get the attention I want or, there's that word again, deserve. But it's hard to stand out when Drew's your husband I guess. I won't say anymore about that. Because I really like the person who I feel gets the attention and preferential treatment. So... I'm basically a horrible person.

large, oh so large, and horrible.

wo is me.

welcome to my pregnancy downs.